YUUWAKU

DESCRIPTION

CAST

REVIEWS

• 

  thetickdickler

  45/100
  If you've ever wondered where the infamous phrase "Cluck like a chicken" came from.

  Unable to resist his urges, a professor is caught red-handed having sex with one of his coeds. He soon finds himself being blackmailed, and he is forced into helping his blackmailer by having sex with girls from his school, all while recording it on video.

  In terms of quality, the plot is mediocre and forgettable, the characters aren't much better, the sex is alright for the most part (except for one scene which involves an especially Ugly Bastard near the beginning of the second episode, so watch out), and the animation is actually decent for a hentai. But the only thing worth mentioning about this 2 episode OVA is the English dub. Or, more specifically, the memorably bad dialogue in the English dub.

  It has some of the cheesiest dialogue that I've heard in an English dub for a hentai. While it does have dialogue such as "All I can think about is riding your rod until you explode", "Purify my snatch", and "I need a drink and some anal", the most infamous line of dialogue out of the whole thing is the main character telling the character that he is fucking to "Cluck like a chicken". And then the character actually clucks like a chicken.

  It's like the people writing and and performing the English dub knew exactly what trash they were voicing, and knew that nobody watching would give a shit either, so they decided to have some fun with it.

  But to top it all off, this infamous line "Cluck like a chicken" is delivered by none other than the voice actor Dan Green, known most for playing buth Yami and Yuuhi from the Yu-Gi-Oh series. This is clearly a role that he took for a paycheck, and I don't blame him for it, but the mere fact that someone with such a fantastic voice shows up in a hentai, and delivers some of the best worst dialogue than a hentai has ever seen is one of the funniest things that I've ever heard when watching spank material. If it wasn't for Dan Green, I wouldn't have even checked this out.

  Would I recommend this for a laugh? If you laughed at the montages of bad hentai dialogue across the internet, you might get a kick out of seeing some of it in context. But even then, once you see the first episode, you don't really need to move onto the second episode. But would I actually recommend this hentai as jerk off material? You could do a hell of a lot worse in terms of hentai. But then again, you could do a hell of a lot better.

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• 

  Entrylevelweebfrom22

  45/100
  If my parents are reading this: I did this as a joke, I swear.

  Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh..............

  Ladies and Gentlemen: my first Anilist review of 2024......

  ........I mean that honor had to go to some thing.

  It could've been on Fullmetal Alchemist 2003 (don't worry, I have't forgotten about it yet). It could've been on Haven't you Heard I'm Sakamoto?. But no, because of the Trash Taste Trio, I decided to try this piece of meat on for size. And what you're reading is the result.

  Spoilers I guess? Not that anyone will really care.

  So: at a high school, there's this professor who looks like Adult Kensuke Aida, just without Adult Kensuke's inherent chadness, who's ordered by this dominatrix, who's also like, the principal, to go on a screwing spree on a bunch of his students for....reasons (yes, the actual reason is "because horny" but in the context of the OVA, I would've liked to see it get more fleshed out. We could've seen her backstory, any childhood excuse she has, why she specifically wants Not-Kensuke to knob these girls (maybe she needed someone with a turtle, even though strap-ons are a thing, and I'm adding fluff to this, aren't I?)). One of whom, a pink-haired girl, feels huge sexual tension between him. And I'll admit, I can't go wrong with buildups. For your couples pushed to the forefront of your story, I think it's always a smart move to save the next-level parts of relationships for last. It's what makes sex extra satisfying, and on it's own, the final sex scene is the best one. Everything else falls into the kinky shit like subway touching (why is this a thing?), cat getup, ropes, and.....exasperated sigh...an ugly bastard.

  The animation is, to my surprise, pretty good in most of the boinking scenes. Pretty well detailed, and even fluid when it needs to be. I went in expecting the typical stilted, bare minimum quality of using camera pans and reused animation as a crutch, but some of this manages to show there was effort put in. And if you cut out the degeneracy, you have on your hands some pretty hot lovemaking scenes. Though they also do that thing in hentai where it's an overhead shot, and the guy is replaced with a transparent silhouette, so it looks like the girl is fucking a ghost. The intended effect is for viewer self-insert, but in my experience, it's a hit-or-miss technique. I can still pretend I'm the other guy since he has an actual body, a head of hair, and some believable human movements. With silhouettes cut in, the immersion can break.

  And full disclosure: I straight up fast-forwarded when the ugly bastard showed up. I have my dignity, and so should you. You have to draw the line somewhere, and that right there crosses it, for an OVA that ALREADY has deal-breaking elements you wouldn't be caught dead watching. I will wait for the day when we have an ugly bastard character design who actually has a heart of gold (that'd be a one-in-a-million impressive feat of proving looks aren't everything), instead of being THE living reason people tend to judge superficially. Because in porn, that's what it's usually about. And as someone who consumes it, the least you can do is have some boundaries. I mean, grape, in a perfect world, shouldn't even BE a tag, but props to all you mental gymnasts anyway, I friggin' guess.

  I mean ultimately, it's too degenerate to ever hope to be taken seriously. I'll admit, this was a novel experience in that I was flaccid as a piece of cloth during most of it. And it made me realize that no matter what type of porn it is, your state of mind is an important factor. But on the other hand, the single best part about it is the goofy English dub ("WORSHIP THIS PENIS! I LOVE THIS PENIS!"). Most of the leads are clearly just hamming it up in the studio, and Not-Kensuke says a lot of his lewd lines as though they belong in a dead serious drama, which adds to the humor. Because after all, lest we forget: "NOW CLUCK LIKE A CHICKEN.....LAY AN EGG." I mean, the ending of episode 1 speaks for itself. Had the entire OVA's dialogue been on that level, and this would be an infinitely better experience. Embrace the zaniness, I always say. Don't hold back.

  So, yeah: this is the first time I've ever properly reviewed porn.
  Hooray? I think?

  Hopefully, this exercise gets me confident about starting the FMA review (y'know, without this review's inherent tounge-in-cheekness, of course).

  I wonder how Suave would review this.

  Not-Kensuke pulls his cock out in front of the brunette idol girl, and the way it was framed made me feel attacked, but also slightly amused.

  Miku is Satsuki Kiryuin if she went overboard with her sexuality at a young age (keyword: fully. Also this joke only works if you watched this and Kill la Kill dubbed).

  In the final scene, Not-Kensuke says an iconic line from the 1991 film, Point Break, which automatically makes this a 10/10.

  

  Song of the day: Ben Folds' cover of "Bitches ain't Shit"

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